不知道為了什麼,一想起那個日子,總會想起華叔。記憶中的華叔,十七年前已經是很老的樣子。十七年過去了,我們這一代開始介意於小孩子叫你做哥哥還是叔叔,姐姐還是姨姨。而華叔,他還是那個老樣子——華叔總還是華叔。
零三年的聖誕,那是一個陽光和暖的日子。落成不久的IFC,亮潔的商場裡佈置了雪白的聖誕場景。那麼整潔,那麼亮麗,那麼豐盛。小人兒圍著雪堆轉,大人兒圍著小人兒轉。人潮又再湧回大小商場。這就是遺忘嗎?沙士.....廿三條.....需要記下什麼嗎?還是:需要遺忘嗎?
那一天的華叔,還是那副老樣子。身上穿著一件卡其色的短外套,稀疏灰白的頭髮梳得整整齊齊,擠在郵局櫃台前的人堆裡,乍看就像一個趁過節,寄東西回鄉的老頭。托寄的包裹,一個個堆起來比人還高。四四方方的,有的貼著收件人的姓名、相片和地址,更多的就這麼貼著監獄的名字,監獄的名字下面是一排排真實的姓名。然而那些相片和姓名是那樣的陌生,也許監獄的名字,更令人有真實的想像。是的,如果那只是一種不涉及具體血肉的想像,一切都不需要遺忘。監獄總是把人編成一個個號碼,不巧,歷史也總是被隨便地寫成一組組編號。而華叔,他還是那個老樣子——一個趁過節,寄東西回鄉的老頭。
不難想像,明天晚上,我會和幾個朋友走進會場,不太投入地跟著晚會程序聽演說,哼歌曲。唯一真誠的,或許只有那一點燭火,那一份也許找不到實際對象的哀思。堅持並不是多麼了不起的事,遺忘也不是多麼可恥的事。前題是:發生了一些事,人們稱之為慘劇、風波、事件,結果卻找不到一個個真實的姓名、一個個暖熱的生命.....
《What Happens》
It has happened
and it goes on happening
and will happen again
if nothing happens to stop it
The innocent know nothing
because they are too innocent
and the guilty know nothing
because they are too guilty
The poor do not notice
because they are too poor
and the rich do not notice
because they are too rich
The stupid shrug their shoulders
because they are too stupid
and the clever shrug their shoulders
because they are too clever
The young do not care
because they are too young
and the old do not care
because they are too old
That is why nothing happens to stop it
and that is why it has happened
and goes on happening
and will happen again
(By Erich Fried)